Thursday, June 15, 2017

Isn’t Technology Wonderful




Isn’t Technology Wonderful


-Hello!  Is this Gordon's Pizza?             
-No, sir, it's Google's Pizza.                                                                                  
-Did I dial the wrong number?
-No, sir, Google bought the pizza store. 

-Oh, all right - then I’d like to place an order, please.
-Okay, sir, do you want the usual?

-The usual?  You know what my usual is?
-According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust. 

-Okay - that’s what I want this time, too.
-May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?

-No, I hate vegetables.
-But your cholesterol is not good.

-How do you know?
-Through the subscribers’ guide.  We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

-Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.
-But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. Four months ago, you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.

-I bought more from another drugstore.
-It's not showing on your credit card, sir.

-I paid in cash.
-But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.

 -I have another source of cash.
-This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.

-WHAT THE HELL?  ENOUGH! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me. 

-I understand, sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport. It expired 5 weeks ago.



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